Escape Plan review

Aren't these guys a little old to be doing any of this? I'm surprised none of them stopped the movie to pop an arthritis pill.
Mikael Hafstrom has never made a good movie in his entire career. His newest film, Escape Plan, isn't good. But it's not bad either. Ray Breslin (Sylvester Stallone) breaks out of prisons to see if they're 100% secure for a living. His newest assignment is an off-the-grid "unbreakable" prison code named, The Tomb. He's beaten, kidnapped, and thrown on a plane to this infamous super jail. It's obvious he was set up. So he quickly forms a friendship with Emil Rottmayer, (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and hatches an escape plan. Hence, the title of the movie.
When going to see Escape Plan, do not expect it to be a well written Oscar contender. Escape Plan isn't hiding what it really is. It's a no-holds-barred testosterone-fueled action flick. I mean any movie that boasts both Ahnuld and Rocky nowadays is probably going to be something like The Expendables 2. Even though I think Escape Plan is better than The Expendables 2, it's still incredibly dumb. Yet, it's also full of some really fun action. Then again, it's still a ridiculous movie. Nothing about this film makes a lot of sense, but the movie is honest about that. It's not hiding the fact that it's a brainless action blockbuster. It embraces the fact. Unlike say, Now You See Me which was trying to trick you into thinking it was a smart thriller when really it was a crappy action movie. That's the beauty of Escape Plan. Both you and the guys who made the movie know it's a "bad" movie, and that's what make sit so damn fun. Not everything is fun though. Sylvester Stallone is a very talented person. He wrote and starred in Rocky, and got two Oscar nods for that. Many people forget that he used to be a "good" actor. Hell, I thought his performance in First Blood was pretty good too. His performance (if that's what you want to call it) in Escape Plan is the equivalent of an emotionless boulder that punches people. Although I can't say I expected much considering what Stallone has been doing recently. Arnold on the other hand, completely hams it up here. Schwarzenegger is absolutely hilarious here. Yeah he kicks a lot of ass, but he also made me crack up. He was certainly the best part of the movie. At one point in the film Arnold Schwarzenegger has to smile. It is the single funniest facial expression I've ever seen. That smile made my day. I can't say the same for Stallone, unfortunately. The Italian Stallion's face is about as lively as a plank of wood the entire movie. Jim Caviezel has a role here as The Tomb's warden. He isn't great, but he plays it with a certain delicious villainy that's worthy of a Die Hard criminal. No acting awards here, but still not too bad. Escape Plan may be a mostly forgettable actioner. But it has a certain delightfulness and complication that makes this bullet-ridden movie so fun. I was actually thinking about seeing the Carrie remake instead if this. I'm glad I didn't. I figure I'd rather have fun at an exciting but stupid action movie than be pissed off at how the remake completely ruined the original. There are much better movies in theaters now that you should see before this like Prisoners and Captain Phillips, but if you wanna have fun killing two hours: Escape Plan is the movie to see. Just don't expect anything too philosophical and thought provoking. I give Escape Plan 3.4 out of 5 stars. Happy Viewing! You can follow me on Twitter @WhitsMovies and like me on Facebook at Facebook.com/WhitsMovies.